Sketches New and Old


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"
"
He didn't know anything about the genuineness of your claim."  
Why didn't the Second tell me? why didn't the Third? why didn't all  
those divisions and departments tell me?"  
"None of them knew. We do things by routine here. You have followed the  
routine and found out what you wanted to know. It is the best way.  
It is the only way. It is very regular, and very slow, but it is very  
certain."  
"Yes, certain death. It has been, to the most of our tribe. I begin to  
feel that I, too, am called. Young man, you love the bright creature yonder with  
the gentle blue eyes and the steel pens behind her ears--I see it in your soft  
glances; you wish to marry her--but you are poor. Here, hold out your hand--  
here is the beef contract; go, take her and be happy! Heaven bless you, my  
children!"  
This is all I know about the great beef contract that has created so much  
talk in the community. The clerk to whom I bequeathed it died. I know  
nothing further about the contract, or any one connected with it. I only  
know that if a man lives long enough he can trace a thing through the  
Circumlocution Office of Washington and find out, after much labor and  
trouble and delay, that which he could have found out on the first day if  
the business of the Circumlocution Office were as ingeniously  
systematized as it would be if it were a great private mercantile  
institution.  
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